REVIEW: Hobo With A Shotgun

Black Dynamite is the exception that proves the rule

Just...This kind of.....This abomination of....You know what fuck it. I give up, and concede to my generation's hydra-like ridiculousness. You think you abolish one negative trait like say the love of John Mayer, and up from the bloody stump sprout two more like planking or militant ironic detachment. And Hobo With Shotgun, well it's the ultimate logical consequence of that militancy. If you're the kind of person who refuses to be impressed by anything on an upfront level and can take no joy in how good something is; then all that's left is to take joy in how bad something is. And if you infuse that thinking into creativity and even film-making then this is what happens. The lovingly made, meticulously awful homage to god knows what, the movie that reminds its makers of those precious times they got high and watched Robocop 2 or Return Of The Living Dead. Hobo With A Shotgun is a travesty more for what it represents than what is, but there's plenty of vitriol to be found on that front too.

But as with most things in life, this is all Robert Rodriguez's fault. I don't want to join the Grindhouse bashing, because that's been done by everyone under the sun, and also because while I think both those films are terrible and for all the trailers and reel burns and what not they were honestly trying to make something good and failed. I'm fine with that kind of failure. I think it was with Machete that Rodriguez crossed the line into reprehensible. His sort of parody, sort of spoof sort of political commentary was just such a colossal fuck you to good film-making, to his own talent and to the audience. His career spiral of late is almost depressing. Plus, an intentionally bad movie is truly for no-one. For people who enjoy the shit movies, a deliberate disaster is never as fascinating or hilarious as the accidental one. It never can feel quite as organic, as ingenious as a legitimately catastrophic movie. And for the people who want to see something good, well why are they going to watch something that takes such pleasure in being bad? Who? They are comedies with no laughs, action movies with no production value and horrors without scares. Machete opened to bad reviews and poor box office, just like Grindhouse did, just like Snakes On A Plane did. This kind of film-making has been categorically rejected by the world, and it's core base of hipster douches... Well they're not going to come out and say they like something are they? Against the tide? Not a chance.

And yet, people keep thinking the ironic bad movie is still a good idea. Because Irony. The revolution is coming y'all, it's so clever etc. No. It's the dumb person's approach to cleverness, and Hobo With A Shotgun, supposedly a pastiche of the bargain basement 80's action movie, is just more of the same. Intentionally cheesy angles, intentionally bad acting, intentionally ridiculous dialogue and intentionally ridiculous violence. Sigh. I'm reminded of the guy who tells bad jokes on purpose, you know the guy everyone wants to rip limb from limb and then make a pun about it, to see if he still thinks its funny, who always defends his egregious actions by saying 'It's meant to be unfunny. That's why its funny.' I should be allowed to kill this guy. Much as I should be able to kill the people behind this movie for so thoroughly wasting everyone's time. If you want to make an 80's style lo-fi action movie then make it, but don't cover your bases by saying it's all some big joke. That's just being a pussy. And it's pointless.

Eagle eyed readers will notice that I haven't even attempted to discuss or review this movie here. Because it's literally exactly what it says on the tin. And if you think that sounds funny or amazing then great. But the problem with these things is that someone telling a bad joke on purpose not only isn't funny, but boring. And as with Machete before it, Hobo just becomes tedious. Once you adjust to the joke then it just morphs into the thing its supposedly mocking and that's no good for anyone. It's got to be the last in this ridiculous craze, and yet another blemish on the good name of Rutger Hauer. Which isn't really a good name anymore anyway. Seeing him here is perhaps the most profoundly depressing thing about Hobo. This guy was Roy Batty man. Ergh.

Rating: 2/10