Friday, 23 September 2011

REVIEW: I Don't Know How She Does It

Due to this films OCD obsession with taking lists, I have decided to review the movie in this manner:

1) I hung around for two hours to see this movie. And got the bus back at 11 O'Clock subsequently. I could have got jacked. Or died. For I Don't Know How She Does It. That would have made my existence a comedy existence.

2) FUCK THIS MOVIE. It is offensive on several socio-political levels, aside from just traditionally sucking balls.

3) Sarah Jessica Parker is not a good actress. She never has been and never will be. And she is the WORST deliverer of voice-over human kind has ever known. Take you're twee, perpetually flat and high pitched tones somewhere else Parker, for they are not wanted here.

4) If you disagree with number 3, I'd stop reading now because the rest of this is liable to make you very upset.

5) Memo to rich white women. There is one group of people the world hates more than you, and that's rich white men. But it's funny how few movies I see about a rich white guy banker complaining about how his life is so gosh darn stressful, and about how those poor people keep getting mad about us kicking them out of their houses won't stop whining, and my how I don't have enough time to have sex with my hot wife as much as they like.

6) People would leave these movies man. They'd involuntary splurt out FUCK THIS DOUCHE and then leave and go back to their ten hour shift at McDonalds. But for some reason, rich white women think it's OK to make the exact inverse of this movie. Again and Again. Every studio romantic comedy outside of Bridesmaids seems to star a rich female lead, who has just about EVeRYTHING but love.

7) I'm not even opposed to making films about these women, but they keep whitewashing everything, saying that no problems are their fault, and they're perfect hard-working captains of industry. If I Don't Know How She Does It could say, be a comedy about the relationship about two hard-working people whose lives don't allow for true love, then I'd watch that movie.

8)But all they seem to want to do is reinforce how awesome they are, and how their awesomeness defeats any and all problems.

8) I believe the saying goes that whereas you need a reason to hate poor people, you need a reason to like rich people. And if rich white women want to hijack a once proud genre to soapbox their whining, then everyone gets to say FUCK THIS SHIT.

9) Yeah, yeah. It's a fantasy. Except it's not. This film is like the comedian who jokes about how easy it is for him to get into VIP events, and how hard it is to fend off all the girls at the same time. This is that guy.

10) Pierce Brosnan is an increasingly bad actor, Greg Kinnear looks like he has dead eyes and Kelsey Grammer shows up to promote his new show soon to be airing on STARZ.

11) The film ends with a dick joke delivered by Christina Hendricks. Badly.

12) Hendricks is trying so hard to prove that she can be fun and bubbly that she ends up giving a wide-eyed, Jim Carrey-esque ridiculous performance. Embarrassing. Looks great though.

13) Best thing about this movie? Olivia Munn. By miles. A funny and winning performance.

14) Ergh. I feel like I've hit one of those down and out moments where you forget why you care about anything or anyone, and all that's left is for your thoughts of loathing and anger to circle furiously around your head until eventually the pressure becomes too much and before you know why, you've done something that can never be undone or taken back. Like see this movie.

Rating: 3/10

1 comment:

Aziza said...

Nice review! So, I guess I won't be seeing this anytime soon! No worries, I'd rather go see Drive or Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy!