Dear IRS,
You don't know me, and nor should you. My taxes are someone else's problem. I would just like to make a plea for you guys to split the money Nicolas Cage owes you between say, 100,000 poverty stricken individuals in America's poorest cities and just call it even. Because this once great actor, this man who could legitimately claim to be one of the best screen actors of the 90's and early 00's, has out of his debt to you become a joke, and many people's number one shout when asked who the worst actor alive is. To me, this is an unacceptable state of affairs, and I'm sure the good peoples of the underclass would be happy to take on his burden, if it meant that Cage didn't have to keep making 5 to 7 shitty films a year to keep from sharing a cell with Wesley Snipes. An actor's good name is surely more important then such trivial things such as wealth and taxes, which come and go, whilst The Wicker Man will last forever.
If not for him, then for me. I'm a person who has to keep saying that Nicolas Cage has given more than one of the best performances I have ever seen in my life, and I keep getting laughed at. Have you seen Leaving Las Vegas I'll say, have you seen Adaptation I'll say. Not the bees, they'll say. Because of your insistence, Marlon Brando is being turned into Chuck Norris, Gerard Depardieu into Rob Schneider. If life is temporary and the forms of this world die,what could be more important then art. It is our one escape from the specter of death, the IV Drip of time. A place where the extra-ordinary can be common place and the miraculous attainable. The potential for Cage to do great things is stratospheric. Even with all the Knowing's and Justice's, I know that if he didn't have to take the highest paycheck at every turn he could turn in one of the greatest performances in the history of cinema tomorrow. IRS, can't you find it in your hearts to just let the odd unpaid Castle residency tax slide. I mean who really cares about one stray castle in the grander scheme of things right?
I know it's your job and your just holding up your end of the social contract, but I want you to watch this
and honestly tell me this man shouldn't be above the law, and able to do what he wants when he wants. Some human beings just emit too much awesome to be judged by our standards and to follow our rules, and Cage is one of these people. He'll pay us back in performances and in crazy. That's a better deal then the people would get out of the banks. So please, lets come together to rise above the small stuff and release Nic Cage from his shackles of not wanting people shouting 'PISSED BLOOD' at him through his cell walls and allow him to be the incredible entertainer that the world will be eternally grateful for. After all, What's a little money when you can say FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK.
Rating: 5/10
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