REVIEW: Sex And The City 2

Lawrence of her labia. Because someone actually says that in this movie. Gag.

After the first Sex And The City movie came out, a certain opening sentence became quite popular with every single male critic who was faced with the daunting task of reviewing it. It would go along the lines of 'Now I know this movie's not for me, but...' And then generally they would go on to give it a tepid review, negative in the politest possible way. Call it post-feminist apologetics, but a large sect of critics didn't slam a movie they hated out of respect for the women who rallied around it, which is either kind of cool or kind of pathetic depending on your view of it.

Not so much this time though. Because this thing has been massacred, so much so that people have actually put forward the theory that critical savaging has actually severely dented its box office, and made critics relevant again. Yay for hate! I want nothing more then to call misogynist conspiracy on this just to be awesome like that, but Sex And The City 2 is pretty horrific. And while reviews that focus on how ugly, bitchy and old they are are bullshit, ones that mention how its sold out on everything that made it unique and in anyway good in the old days are a slight more valid. Jokes are dumbed down, transformed from clever sarcastic wit into broad, groan inducing double-entendres. ( Some reluctant boyfriend snarled a quite audible 'For Fuck's sake' at the ridiculous name of one of Samantha's conquests. Funniest moment of my movie going experience.) What once was at least a semi-insightful look into modern female sexuality is now pretty much an overblown cartoon, complete with a cringe worthy gay wedding set piece, with the most omigod-hell-swallow-me-right-now moment being Liza Minnelli (who was in Arrested Development and thus is forgiven) singing Beyonce's single ladies. What the fuck guys! What the Fuck.

I don't even like the show that much and even I feel somewhat betrayed by how much this movie sells out on what made it what it is. So either fans are so committed at this point that they are going to sing the praises of whatever putridity is thrown at them - Like the people still watching Heroes in its fourth season - or they don't care, and its the experience of the world and the legacy that matters, and whether the movie is good or not really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how wooden SJP is, or the fact that there's a scene where a group of muslim women dressed in burkas take them off to reveal the latest New York spring line underneath. Actually let's think on that for a while......

Faring better I guess is Kim Cattrall's Samantha, who despite being ridiculous does gather a couple of cheap laughs and generally its a good comic performance. The other two the movie could give a shit about, one has a subplot so thin it isn't really a subplot and the ginger just gets to be super-excited tourist. The ginger was your best actress guys, give her something to do. My favorite thing about the thing, and the original show to be honest, is Chris Noth's presence as Big. He brings a cool, a calm and most importantly, a dignity that the movie so desperately needs. Even though he pretty much just sits around an apartment, he still stole the movie for me.

A gross, overblown mess that has no reason to exist other then to premiere the Twilight: Eclipse trailer. There looks to be more fighting in this one, and its directed by the awesome David Slade. So, you know. It'll probably be better then this.

Rating: 4/10