2011 Emmy Nomination Reaction

And so it was that Community became the Buffy The Vampire Slayer of it's generation. A show too daring and unique for the awards bodies of the time, yet sure to be treasured long after everyone who thinks Modern Family is the best show on TV has died, although to be fair that's probably only about 10 years. The total blanking of Community for the second year in a row is an abomination, whether you think its the best show or not its certainly in the top six, but that apart this was actually a set of nominations that I liked more than disliked. Parks and Recreation's series nomination, Louie C.K's acting nomination and the embrace of Justified were all good things, and on average I'm more happy than sad. Let's do this.

BEST DRAMA:

Mad Men

Dexter

Friday Night Lights

The Good Wife

Boardwalk Empire

Game Of Thrones

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 6/6 - I'm awesome

5 out of 6 of these shows are deserving, so you have to be happy about that. I'm not quite sure what Dexter has to do not to get nominated here, considering just how limp this past season was, but with Emmy finally acknowledging Friday Night Lights and the deserving presence of Game Of Thrones here, you can only bitch so much. Mad Men is still a lock to win this though I would have thought.

Snubs:

Justified - Because come on. The second best dramatic show on television last year isn't nominated , despite the embrace of its actors, which makes the lazy, ill-informed Dexter nomination extra irritating.

Terriers, Rubicon - Not here because they got cancelled, but both would have been worthy nominees

BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA:

Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Hugh Laurie, House

Timothy Olyphant, Justified

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 5/6 - I'm very Good

OLYPHANT. Fuck yeah. Many people didn't think would happen including me, but its nice for an awards body to pleasantly surprise you every once in a while isn't it? Incidentally, with the absence of three time winner Bryan Cranston, one would think it's finally going to be Jon Hamm's year, especially when he's got The Suitcase and all. It has to be right? Otherwise nominations are sort of as you were, and while Buscemi is a first timer, this is not in the least surprising.

Snubs:

Sean Bean, Game Of Thrones - It wasn't my favorite performance on the show, but towards the end there Bean pulled out some very impressive stuff. You could make the argument.

BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA:

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Kathy Bates, Harry's Law

Mariska Hargitay, SVU

Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Mireille Enos, The Killing

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 4/6 - I'm pretty good

I'd like to think this would be Moss' year what with The Suitcase and all, but through and through this is going to be Margulies. Women in drama tend to dominate procedurals as opposed to the serialized cable dramas, which exclusively focus on Men. Hence Hargitay and Bates and even Margulies. But considering how weak this category has been in the past, at least there's good performances here.

Snubs:

Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy - A weaker year for Sons, but that doesn't diminish Sagal's performance which is still better than at least three of the nominated actresses as far as I'm concerned. But it looks like its never to be.

January Jones, Mad Men - Personally I think this is a good thing, because in no way was Jones a lead performance and quite frankly the character was a bit of a mess this year, so. Well done Emmy for lazily nominating her anyway

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA:

John Slattery, Mad Men

Josh Charles, The Good Wife

Andre Braugher, Men Of A Certain age

Walton Goggins, Justified

Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 3/6 - I'm OK I guess.

Despite Dinklage and the series nomination, I would imagine there's quite a few who are annoyed at Dinklage being the only actor nomination. But while I liked other actors on the show, I think Dinklage is really the only one who deserves to be here. He may even win the thing, which would be awesome. Personally I'm delighted about Goggins being here, as I thought he was going to be the great Justified performance that got ignored. But he was fucking awesome this year, and he's my choice for the winner. The love for The Good Wife should get Mad Men fans a bit worried, because the only reason Charles is here is because they really like that show.

Snubs:

Aiden Gillen/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game Of Thrones - Littlefinger and Jaime Lannister respectively, again both these performances are stronger than Charles' but, I think the show's turn may come in a couple of years.

Michael Pitt/Michael Shannon, Boardwalk Empire - But frankly, this is a much greater slice of bullshit because both Pitt and Shannon were exceptional on a show the awards body clearly liked and frankly I'd nominate these guys before I nominated the show itself. Kind of a major snub.

Arliss Howard, Rubicon - This was never happening, but he's so unbelievably awesome on this show that I'd be amiss not to mention it.

Chris Noth, The Good Wife - Pretty much everyone on this show got nominated except this guy. Probably still taking some Sex And The City 2 backlash.

Denis O' Hare, True Blood - terrible show, but this was an awesome performance.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS DRAMA:

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

Christina Baranski, The Good Wife

Margo Martindale, Justified

Kelly MacDonald, Boardwalk Empire

Michelle Forbes, The Killing

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 5/6 - I'm very good.

Well the Forbes nomination annoys me, because that was such a one note character, Panjabi and Baranski are both awesome, MacDonald does good work and Hendricks is always a deceptively subtle presence. But come on, how can this go to anyone but Martindale. She was a force of nature on Justified this year and this simply has to happen. Has to.

Snubs:

Emilia Clarke, Game Of Thrones - I'm less enamored with this performance than the rest of the internet but I think it certainly deserved a nomination.

Kiernan Shipka - Mad Men - Don Draper's daughter gave one of the best performances on the show last year, adults be damned and this simply would have been awesome.

BEST COMEDY SERIES:

The Big Bang Theory

The Office

Parks And Recreation

Modern Family

Glee

30 Rock

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 5/6 - I'm very good.

First of all the Parks and Recreation nomination is not only unexpected, but one of the best things Emmy has ever done, and could potentially save this show. But elsewhere? Meh is probably the best way to put it. I would nominate Modern Family, but Glee's presence here is embarrassing considering the critical backlash against it this year, The Office and 30 Rock are both once great shows here just because they're established. And then there's The Big Bang Theory. So that happened.

Snubs:

Community - Obviously

Louie - But I guess you can't be too down about this because at least Louie C.K got a nomination himself, and this was inconceivable.

Cougar Town - But this is because no-one can stomach filling in awards ballot with the name Cougar Town right? I mean people are gonna see that shit. Tis a shame.

United States Of Tara- I guess you could say this was too dramatic to belong here, but that's never stopped them before and this was awesome.

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY:

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Steve Carell, The Office

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Johnny Galecki, The Bang Theory (WTF)

Louis C.K, Louie

Matt Le Blanc, Episodes

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 4/6 - I'm pretty good

First things first. Double nomination for The Big Bang Theory, and while I'd defend Parsons here in that he does give a legitimately great performance in the face of bad material, but Galecki plays the most inconsistent and badly written character on the show. They never have any idea what to do with him, and this is comfortably the dumbest nomination of the year. Elsewhere Louis C.K= best thing ever and I'm actually OK with LeBlanc even if I didn't like his show all that much. He was great on it. But what with it being Carell's last year on The Office and all, his win is a lock.

Snubs: Joel McHale, Community - Obviously.

BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY:

Melissa McCarthy, Mike And Molly

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Laura Linney, The Big C

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 5/6 - I'm very good.

This is the category where Emmy usually succumbs to star-fucking, often giving nominations to the most famous instead of the best. But you know, there's literally like 20 eligible candidates here and you do the best with what you've got. Linney probably will win, I hope anyone but Linney or Falco wins. The Plimpton nomination is great.

Snubs:

Toni Collette, The United States Of Tara - This can only be because her show got cancelled, given that she has both won and been nominated consecutively. But this is the best performance by a shot, maybe accepting Poehler, so its utterly ridiculous she isn't nominated. Just ridiculous.

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY:

Chris Colfer, Glee

Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Ed O' Neill, Modern Family

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family

Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 4/6 - I'm pretty good

Lamest category ever, bar none. In their rush to nominate every cast member off of modern Family they've not only ignored all the great performances from Community, Parks and Rec and a thousand other shows, they've even thrown mainstay nominee Neil Patrick Harris to the wolves. So incredibly lazy, boring and childish and Emmy is going to make people turn on Modern Family. They still found room for Jon Cryer though. That Charlie Sheen pity will go a long way.

Snubs:

Entire cast of community - Obviously

Nick Offerman - Parks And Recreation - This is atrocious. What is surely the funniest performance on TV has yet to be nominated. Just utterly ridiculous. There are no words.

Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel - How I Met Your Mother - You can make your case for both, but the Harris non-nomination is pretty shocking.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY:

Jane Lynch, Glee

Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live

Betty White, Hot In Cleveland

PREDICTION CONVERSION RATE: 5/6 - I'm very good

OK, Wiig is here because of Bridesmaids, White is here because Old people are ridiculous and sometimes that's funny Krakowski is here because voters are lazy, Julie Bowen, who gives a bad, grating performance on Modern Family as far as I'm concerned just happens to be on a show they've gone nuts for.and arguably Jane Lynch, who's character was an inconsistent wreck on Glee this year. So I guess I'm behind Vergara then. Who I both want and think will win.

Snubs:

Alison Brie, Community - Obviously

Aubrey Plaza - Parks and Rec, but if Nick Offerman can't then she can't.

Busy Phillipps - Cougar Town - Curse of the name strikes again.

7 TV Shows That Crapshooted: Or Had No Idea How To Be TV Shows Past One or Two seasons

There's something about a show that starts well, and then step by egregious step begins to self-destruct, that's about as disheartening as watching filmed dramatic fiction can be. You commit to the world and embrace it, which for a TV show is a much greater commitment then film because it can be a relationship that lasts for years, and if you're a certain type of person, we know who we are, who delves into these worlds as a substitute for existing in this one, suffice to say we consider it quite the diss.

Why it happens, there's no sure answer. Sometimes its that the show-runners commit to the wrong aspect of the show, sometimes its that they go too big too soon, and other times it can be that they just don't know what the fuck they're doing. Anyways, list of disappointments coming your way. By the way, I gave 24 and 30 Rock a pass because just enough years of the show were good before it fell to shit. SPOILERS.


7) Prison Break

What went wrong: People said it could only be a one season show. They were right.

The problem here was the specificity of the premise. Its a show that called itself Prison Break, which clearly states its intentions, so while the first year was a pretty entertaining as we saw the meticulous planning, the group of escapees spar with each other and the various obstacles that were placed in their path, and it lead to an awesome finale where we finally saw shit go down. The problem being that when season 2 started and no-one was in prison anymore, you could pretty much hear the screams of what the fuck do we do now in every frame. It went after the conspiracy sub-plot, it went after the whole fugitive bit. It defied logic in order to keep T-Bag in the show. It's floundering became boring, and considering that our heroes the Scofield brothers were so suffocatingly dull and flatly acted (By Wentworth Miller and Dominic 'Blade Trinity' Purcell') they couldn't support any kind of character stories. Not that the show wanted to give them any really.

Its attempt to save itself? Throw every-one back in prison in season three and totally repeat the first season, only with different, less interesting characters. Past season one, Prison Break had no plan, and because the first season had nothing but the plan, this is what people liked about the show. So people stopped watching. And caring.


6) Ugly Betty

What Went Wrong?: Suffered the consequences of being Over-hyped.

If one was to be particularly cynical, you could say that Ugly Betty lived out the life that is beckoned for Glee. It came out to boundless praise, with everyone calling it a breath of fresh air, original and a new dawn for television. And more synonyms along those lines. It won the Golden Globe for best comedy series and America Ferrara did the double-slam of taking both the Emmy and The Golden Globe in the same year. A very rare feat indeed. Cut to four years later and it gets canceled in near-obscurity, with no real uproar and less viewers then the average repeat of Grey's Anatomy. Of course, all this has nothing to do with the actual show, which in its first year was a quirky, enjoyable diversion with a couple of entertaining performances, particularly from Michael Urie and Becki Newton. It was fun with no real need to be more. Unfortunately it pursued this attitude through the rest of its life, and suddenly the awards and praise felt like a mis-step and while the show slowly stilled into stagnancy, its defenders backtracked as quickly as your average episode of Heroes. It's a little harsh I guess, but the show certainly didn't get better as it went along, content to just offer up more of the same.

Its attempt to save itself? That's the thing. It didn't really, taking the denial route instead. Well unless you count the late in the day make-over for its lead character, but by then shit was over.


5) Alias

What Went Wrong? It Pursued the wrong aspect of itself.

Let's face facts here. At its core, Alias was never really about what was happening in Alias. Plot was a necessary evil in a show about cool action scenes, exotic locales and Jennifer Garner looking hot. In the early years, sure there was some plot bouncing around and even some darkness too. But your average episode was like watching mission impossible only with Garner replacing Cruise and someone taking a whole lot of money away, but I think part of the reason Alias became exhausting was when it starting believing in its own insincerity. The tacked on will they won't they romance between Garner and Michael Vartan became more integral, complete with love triangle villain Melissa George, who came and did nothing but annoy for a long, long time. Not just this, but the fucking Rimbaldi mythology. There's serialization that enriches plot, character and dramatic weight and then there's serialization for the sake of itself. This was long, never-ending and I was amazed how much I didn't care when they told me what it meant. The show became kind of a drag, and several episodes would go by with fun being had by no-one.

Its Attempt to save itself: Er did I mention that the show's villain wanted to turn the world into zombies? This is a spy show, set in the real world by the way. Zombies. For real.


4) Nip/Tuck


What went wrong: Got way too big way too fast.

Man I hated this show. But it got a lot of praise in it first couple of years, for being daring and something no-one had seen before yada yada. Nip/Tuck was always over the top, but in its first year this felt like a refreshing antidote to dramas molded under the Sopranos template, in which everything was subtle, intelligent and under the surface. Nip/Tuck was the antithesis to this, the quintessential extrovert's show where the only way to proceed was to go big. This lead to some guiltily enjoyable moments, and to be fair to Nip/Tuck, I'll never think of DIY circumcision again in the same way. But the ever escalating level of hysteria meant there was no solid foundation. And as the camp increased season to season it made it apparent that at its core it was just hollow, it didn't care about any of its characters instead forming them into increasingly gross caricatures until nothing meant anything. Just what gross out surgery would it be this week.

Its Attempt to save itself: Because it was a cable show, it didn't have to worry about that. It lasted seven years, and can stand in confident tonal brethren with shows like Dynasty or Footballer's Wives, only with the illusion of credibility through darkness.


3) Dexter


What went wrong: Pursued the wrong aspect of the show

This won't be a popular one no doubt, as many people consider this the best show on television that just had its strongest season yet. But you know, if you don't stick to your guns then, well I'd just be the blogging equivalent of Dexter and obviously no-one wants that. The crapshooting of Dexter is the most frustrating one for me on this list, because I loved its first season, and much of its second season, so very much. A twisted spin on the police procedural, bringing new meaning to the term 'victim of the week' featuring a fantastic lead performance from Michael C Hall and even a surprisingly funny experience, complete with a droll voice-over and some awesome deadpanning from Hall. Sure its supporting characters were a collection of barely noticeable cyphers and cop stereotypes but no matter, I thought this was going to be my favorite show for years. Alas, I felt a little like the Arsenal fan who cried Theo Walcott, because in a very small space of time everything just went to shit. The roots of this lie in the second season, where the show defined what it was going to be. It's a very strong year on the whole, and anything wrong with it can generally be brushed off onto Lilah. Oh Lilah, screechy terribly acted, ridiculous, broadly drawn Lilah. Fucking hell.

But one misjudged character does not a bad show make, and generally it remained pretty strong, and once the antagonist switched from Lilah to Doakes in the last 4 episodes, which was freaking awesome, presenting Dexter with a dilemma he couldn't rationalize his way out of, killing a (mostly) decent man in order to save himself. Or his family. Whatever, the show was finally going to make Dexter face the consequences of his actions, see that he couldn't have his metaphysical cake and eat it too and push the show into more dramatically complex and interesting territory. Or it could pull the most shameless cop-out in television history, and I don't overstate it when I call it that, its truly what I think it was, and have Lilah reappear to take care of it for him, so he could take care of Lilah and everything could be tied in a neat little bow. To build something up so exquisitely and consistently and end it with such an impotent, lame, secretion of an excuse is about the most odious thing a show can do. Fuck you show. Fuck you in the face.

But fine, I can see its just one crucial moment it blew. Its not the end of the world right? Well then came the the rancid third season, in which everything went wrong from all sides, from those painfully dull supporting characters all getting painfully dull boyfriends/girlfriends that took up a lot of screen-time, to a meandering, rushed and simply written arc and Jimmy Smits as the year's bad guy. Well that was just embarrassing. Its like all the dark drama, the moral ambiguity and most importantly the storytelling maturity just vanished of the face of the shows' reality. It started off a dark, exploration of a sympathetic monster and became a cartoon, that seemed to apologize for its hero as often as possible. And all this without even mentioning Rita, if Dexter wanted to explore family then fine, but that could never be done in any insightful or sophisticated way with Rita around. Impossibly naive, impossibly forgiving and with the world view of a 10 year old girl scout, and about the level of complexity to match. Hey bitch, if a guy just admitted to you that he's a junkie who assaulted and framed your ex-husband for drug abuse and you have two kids under the age of ten, you don't give him another chance. Have some self-respect woman.

If anything she was, more then the title character, the reflection of the creative voice of this show. Stuck in some turgid status quo without the balls to do anything about it. The fourth season didn't really change much of my opinion. Sure John Lithgow was awesome but the same problems remained. Its twist ending hints at something new, finally, but consider me very much unconvinced.

Its attempt to save itself: I think we're about to see it.


2) Weeds


What went Wrong: Tried to be too clever for itself.

This is an interesting one. What went wrong with Weeds stands pretty much alone in the TV backlog. It was so concerned with being avant-garde, being unpredictable and doing new things, all admirable intentions, that one by one it stripped itself of anything you liked about the show, morphing itself into a dark drama that still kind of thought it was a comedy. The fucked-upedness is nearly all-consuming, to the point where in last season, our heroine's teenage son killed an unarmed woman in front of his mother, and didn't consider it a big deal. Yeah. Every now and again I think its an ahead of its time work of genius, but for the most part I just find it unwatchable. Darkness doesn't always translate as good. If you're going to substantially change the tone of you're universe it has to be earned, you can't just turn into dark drama solely because that wasn't what you did last week. Everything just feels random and smug, and Nancy who began the series as a pot dealer who sold weed to rich white women, has become such a cluelessly irresponsible pit of selfishness that if she wasn't played by the excellent Mary Louise Parker, she would be the devil.

No show maybe outside of Heroes has worked with character as inconsistently and as incoherently as Weeds, and its all so disappointing because Weeds has somewhere in itself such a clever show. I'd be tempted to say that no show on TV does dialogue better when its on its game, an its got enough talented actors to make Damages blush. No, Weeds has been ruined by its own sense of self-satisfaction and its belief that being clever means you don't have to worry about anything else, but it turns out you do.

Its attempt to save itself: What? aside from killing all of Nancy's boyfriends, to burning down the suburban community that was originally its setting, to ridding itself of all of its black characters, to marrying Nancy to a drug-lord, to changing locales every season, to having a 15 year old boy we've seen grow up before our eyes be a homicidal Psycho? Not much. I'm making this sound kind of awesome, but believe watch this show and you'll be appreciate the Joker's brand of thoughtful political concern. In other words, shit be nihilist as balls.


1) Heroes

What went wrong: Lol.

Ah, the piece de resistance. Kids, if TV shows could be space missions, then Heroes would be Apollo 13, only without the everyone surviving thing. Past the first season, everything that could be done wrong was done wrong and then it was done again. It quickly became very clear that Tim Kring didn't just not know how to write a TV show, he didn't know how to write anything. From simple dialogue, to simple character development. I'm not talking Dostoevsky here, just you know shit like this.

Hiro: I'm never going to travel through time again. Bad things happen.

Ando: OK.

cut to, say, 10 minutes and a painful scene with Ali Larter later

Hiro: The only way to solve this problem is to travel in time and make things right. Its the heroic thing to do.

Ando: OK.

But you just said! Its almost as if you're being made to do and think whatever the plot needs you to at any given time, regardless if it makes any sense as far as you're character is concerned. But that would be ridiculous right? Right Nathan Petrelli? Oh yeah. Shit. What made the crapshooting of Heroes all the more beautiful was that each passing season it tried to address what critics were saying was wrong with it, like some desperately incompetent child inanely trying to impress of a disapproving parent. So season two was too slow to get going? Well lets start season three at 6000 miles an hour. Ha take that. Not enough Sylar in season two? Here, have him, look at him being badass in his Neo-trench coat, killing people. All the time. Not enough emotional connection to characters in season three? Well lets stop everything and watch Claire go to college. Not enough interesting villains that aren't Sylar? Look, here's a Carnival full of bad guys with magical powers, in idea that seemed to come randomly whilst watching Carnivale. One of them's T-Bag from Prison Break! Love me!

It came to point that in terms of ground covered, Heroes must have given everyone everything they could have conceivably wanted. But ironically the one thing that everyone wanted was just to be what it was in the first place, a fun diversion about ordinary people with superpowers. The thing that Heroes could never rediscover was that people part, and our root in the universe, the characters, were such works of blatant artifice that there was no reason to give a shit anymore. What it needed was more quiet moments, scenes entirely about the people in them and not whatever the fuck the company was doing now. But that was the one thing it never seemed to get.

Its attempt to save itself: Everything it ever did past the finale of season one. Show never had much self-esteem really. And why should it.

Emmy Nomination Reaction: Big Ass Post

And so the awards ceremony that will live in infamy for nominating Boston Legal and Grey's Anatomy a combined 56 times whilst nominating The Wire for 2 awards in its entire run returns. What irritates me about the Emmy's is how the always try to cluelessly try to stay in touch with popularity fads, which it has done hideously this year. Still some good nominations amidst the hideousness.

Outstanding Drama Series:

Breaking Bad

Dexter

The Good Wife

Lost

Mad Men

True Blood

The Nominees:
We've got the good, the bad and the ugly here. Breaking Bad and Mad Men, obviously. The two best shows by a country mile and either one deserves to win. I hope its Breaking Bad, but it will be Mad Men. I guess if you're gonna nominate Dexter, do it this year although frankly this award belongs to John Lithgow if it wins (which it won't). The Good Wife is an efficient, intelligent procedural that does its job, and it wouldn't be the Emmy's without at least one procedural. At least its not Grey's Anatomy. Lost is silly. There's a place in my heart for the show, but this was its weakest year and considering what was ignored here, a sentimental goodbye cost some great shows the recognition they deserved. True Blood can go fuck itself. Mad Men to win.

What should be here:

Treme and Sons Of Anarchy. The best moment of True Blood season 2 wasn't a scratch on the worst moment from these two seasons, particularly SOA, which gave us one of the most ferociously uncompromising season of TV in recent memory. Treme's pilot exhumed class and elegance and was one of the most joyous episodes of TV I can recall ever seeing. I'd see these two above anything in that nomination list that isn't made by AMC.

Outstanding Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Glee

Modern Family

Nurse Jackie

The Office

30 Rock

The Nominees:

A deserved nomination for Curb, that didn't have its best year but had a very strong one, I'm happy with Modern Family, a deservedly popular show that is genuinely funny. The Office is a Dinosaur at this point but probably just about deserved it. 30 Rock's wildly inconsistent fourth year left me watching only sporadically, but what I saw didn't impress me. I hope Modern Family wins just to break 30 Rock's undeserved monopoly of this ceremony. Nurse Jackie is a bit of a WTF, its certainly not a great show and Merrit Weaver aside isn't that funny either. Fucking Glee. This would be Emmy desperately trying to be hip again wouldn't it, its not a terrible show but its doesn't deserve the windfall of nominations it got here. Balls. Glee to win.

What isn't Here:

Only the two funniest and best comedies on TV. Emmy you a clueless motherfucker. No Community or Parks And Recreation, and this is a travesty. Nurse Jackie? Come on. I get that these shows don't have the biggest following, but they're both morphing into something that might be amazing, as Community's sweeping of numerous best episode of the years lists, with its sublime 'Modern Warfare'. Amy Poehler got a throwaway nom, but Community got entirely jackshit. This is perhaps the most irritating thing about this year's Emmy's for me. Arrrgh.

Lead Actor In A Comedy Series:

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Steve Carell, The Office

Matthew Morrison, Glee

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Tony Shalhoub, Monk

The Nominees:

Baldwin is great in 30 Rock, whatever the show's current fortunes. So I'm fine with him. Larry David is my favorite of this list to be honest and I hope he wins. Respect Wood. Steve Carell is a movie star on a TV show, so no matter what he does, you know. Matthew Morrison. For What? Even if you like Glee, Morrison does nothing on this show. A placeholder for the narrative at best, but he has ridden the Glee wave at this Emmy's that has led it to get more nominations then Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Bitter much. Jim Parsons gives a great performance on The Big Bang Theory, and even if the show can be a bit generic, he deserves to be here. Shalhoub got a farewell sympathy nom for Monk. OK. Alec Baldwin to win.

Who Isn't Here:

Well Joel McHale from Community for one, who does the best Jason Bateman since Jason Bateman. Adam Scott of Party Down, gave such a great tragi-comic performance on a show that nobody watched. I'd even prefer James Roday from Psych over Morrison and Shalhoub. Charlie Sheen from Two and A Half Men! for all of the other ridiculous shit here, this makes it a beautiful day.

Lead Actor In A Drama Series:

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights

Matthew Fox, Lost

Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Hugh Laurie, House

The Nominees:

Two-time winner Bryan Cranston continues to be a thorn in Jon Hamm's side at the Emmy's. He's won it two years in a row deservedly and the only reason I can see that changing is if Emmy decide it's someone else's turn. Like Hamm's for instance. I'm very happy to see Chandler here, because aside from anything else Friday Night Lights is another great show that never gets a look in. Matthew Fox rode the Lost nostalgia to his first nomination, which frankly I'm much more OK with then I thought I would be. Michael C Hall and Hugh Laurie will be both here until they choose not to be. This is a category I'm perhaps the most happy with. Jon Hamm to win.

Who isn't here:

Charlie Hunnam of SOA, Steve Zahn of Treme, who I liked much more then everybody else. Simon Baker got dissed pretty severely, but I don't really mind too much.

Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Toni Collette, The United States Of Tara

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Julia Louis Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of old Christine

Lea Michele, Glee

Amy Poehler, Parks And Recreation

The Nominees:

Collette certainly does a lot on the United States Of Tara, so I'm OK with the nomination. Its not the best how but she is good in it. Tina Fey. Edie Falco was very good in The Sopranos, so..Julia Louis Dreyfus is a big name. Lea Michele is a glee nomination I'm fine with, as I thought she played the musical version of Tracey Flick quite well. I intensely hope Poehler wins, because otherwise this is a disparaging category. Toni Collette to win.

Who isn't here:

Having said that, its a man's world and there are so few comedies with female leads that, well, you pick from a bad bunch I guess. I don't like Weeds anymore, but Mary Louise Parker will always be great on that show. Portia De Rossi from Better Off Ted for realz. Another great show nobody has seen. I would tentatively suggest Gillian Jacobs from Community too.

Lead Actress In A Drama Series

Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights

Glenn Close, Damages

Mariska Hargitay, Law And Order: Special Victims Unit

January Jones, Mad Men

Julianna Marguiles, The Good Wife

Kyra Sedgewick, The Closer

The Nominees:

Yay for Britton, maybe that cameo in Nightmare On Elm Street raised her profile. Glenn Close is like way too famous not to get nominated, even if Damages is a pompous ultimately empty show. The only rationale I can imagine for Hargitay being here is she has a memorable name, and was mentioned repeatedly in The Love Guru. January Jones is deserving and fine, same with Marguiles who gives a great anchor to that show. Kyra Sedgewick? Whatever this post is too long for me to care anymore. Julianna Marguiles to win.

Who's not Here:

Katey Sagal for Sons Of Anarchy. This is a big one. I don't think any female in any category did better work then Sagal this season, and even if you want to entirely shut out SOA, you had to at least give it this. Nope. What makes it extra hilarious is that with the possible exception of Ms Jones, the next best female lead performance was also ignored. Anna Gunn for Breaking Bad, who took her character to the next level this season, a truly great performance ignored. Bad, bad category for Emmy credibility.

Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series:

Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men

Chris Colfer, Glee

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family

Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother

Eric Stonestreet, Modern family

The Nominees:

Modern Family annihilation. I agree with two out of three. I think Burrell and Stonestreet are definitely worth their presence here, but Ferguson rode the show's coat tails. Same with Colfer from Glee, who is simply here because Emmy has a massive and inexplicable Glee boner. Patrick Harris is a deserving mainstay, but this is a bad year for How I Met Your Mother otherwise. Jon Cryer is invincible, and could literally just stare at the camera for twenty minutes each Monday and he'd still be here. Fuck Two and A Half Men in the face. That's got to get me a few accidental gay fetish site hits. Ty Burrell to win.

Who isn't here:

Many people from Community, the utmost of which is Danny Pudi, who gave one of the most original comic performances in some time. I'd also put Donald Glover from Community up here. Martin Starr from Party Down. But the most hideous oversight is without a doubt Nick Offerman from Parks And Recreation, who should win this category let alone be nominated. Horrifying.

Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Andre Braugher, Men Of A Certain Age

Terry O Quinn, Lost

Michael Emerson, Lost

Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad

Martin Short, Damages

John Slattery, Mad Men

The Nominees:

I did think Lost would get some love in this category partly because it always has done, and maybe because it should do. If anything has kept Lost a good show through all these years its the performances of O' Quinn and Emerson, who lend the show a maturity and subtlety it wouldn't have otherwise. Whatever you think about Lost these are two great performances that deserve the kudos they get. Aaron Paul! Loving it, and given the work he did this year he should probably win this, but Slattery or one of the Losties are more likely. But its great to see a younger actor in this category. Braugher's given several great performances on TV in the last ten years, and this year has been banner, combining Men Of A certain Age with his work and House. I think his nomination is perhaps a double team. Martin Short is an interesting choice, but there are better performances. Slattery is always awesome. Terry O Quinn to win.

Who's Not Here:

Gee, Wendell Pierce from Treme, Clarke Peters from Treme, John Goodman from Treme. Dean Norris From Breaking Bad, who was the anchor of the year's best episode of TV, and really should be here. Giancarlo Esposito from Breaking Bad, Ryan Hurst and Ron Perlman from Sons Of Anarchy, John Noble From Fringe. Maybe Alexander Skaarsgaard from True Blood.

Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Jane Lynch, Glee

Holland Taylor, Two And A Half Men

Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live

The Nominees:

Jane Lynch is another thing from Glee I can live with, and is comfortably the best thing about that show. Krakowski is here because Emmy loves it some 30 Rock. Bowen rode the Modern Family train, Vergara is more deserving and Kristen Wiig is becoming famous so, you know. Fucking Two and A Half Men. Holland Taylor is only in about half the episodes any given season. What the fuck. Jane Lynch to win.

Who's Not Here:

Alison Brie from Community, because watching her on Mad Men and then on this is literally like TV acid tripping, Merrit Weaver from Nurse Jackie, the only thing from that show that should get nominated isn't, yet it got a bunch of other stuff. Cheryl Hines or Susie Greene from Curb Your Enthusiasm anyone. Lizzy Caplan from Party Down also.

Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

Rose Byrne, Damages

Sharon Gless, Burn Notice

Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife

The Nominees:

That Sharon Gless nomination is ridiculous, yet awesome at the same time. Burn Notice is a flimsy yet entertaining spy/action series where shit get solved by tapping into evil spy software with you're motorola bluetooth. Its MacGyver. Yet its smallest, most irrelevent character who gets about 5 lines an episode is up here with an emmy nomination. Love those Emmy's. Ecstatic about the Hendricks nomination, who doesn't always get recognized but deservingly did this year. Moss is a mainstay. Two Good Wife nominations is farely batshit, I could live with one or the other but hey. Rose Byrne, I guess if you have to. Elisabeth Moss to win.

Who's not Here:

Roll out those Treme actors yet again. Emmy hates that David Simon. Khandi Alexander, Melissa Leo and Kim Dickens both should have been here, but I guess I can't be too angry because of the wholesale Grey's Anatomy shutout.

Final Thoughts:

Too much Glee, 19 nominations guys, not enough for Breaking Bad ( No writing nominations. Really?) zero for Sons Of Anarchy and Community and a very small amount for Treme is silly. Love the backdoor nomination for Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost via guest actress. Not a horrific year I guess, but not a great one. But TV's biggest awards ceremony isn't moving forward at the same speed as the medium itself, as too much great stuff is getting ignored and functionality is rewarded too often. Rewarding the right things is very important for future great shows getting made, as very often great shows live off critical acclaim rather then viewership, yet here is TV greatest awards body giving 19 nominations to Glee. Trepidation.

OMFA Awards: The Ten Best Movie Consolation Prizes In 2009

That picture really has nothing to do with anything here, but hey. When you're watching a bad movie, and as far as new releases go that seems to be about 60% of the time, you look for the little olive branches to justify what you know in your heart is two hours you're never getting back. The choicest of these critical apologetics seems to be the special effects were good, or the action scenes were good. For me this doesn't quite work. These days special effects are such a mainstay that I really don't care if they are good anymore. I just expect it. My attitude to action could be considered similar, or at least studio movie action, which is so stilted and lifeless.

So in bad movies I'm pretty much looking for actors, or the odd left field moment of actual talent, to save the day. Sometimes they don't, in which case fuck that shit. But sometimes they provide much needed rest bite from the disillusioning abyss of awfulness which certain movies can become. Here are the ten most prescient examples of it this year.


10) Deadpool: Before The zombie, X-Men Origins


This I think, was the kind of movie that allows the readers of the sight and sound to justify their elitist movie view. It was overblown, moronic, badly acted, bloated and every slight the devil can provide. Literally the only bearable thing in the film was Ryan Reynolds cameo as Deadpool. Sure it was basically just a badass version of the same smart-alec douche he always plays, but he wisecracked and kicked ass like a hero is supposed to and for those two minutes the movie was marginally enjoyable. Then he disappeared and came back as a wordless, ultimate warrior zombie. Fuck you David Benioff.

9) Buck, AKA Simon Pegg, Ice Age 3


The first half hour of Ice Age 3 felt tired, basically retreading old steps and journeys. The problem being that every returning character is a little less funny and a little less interesting. But then Buck turns up, and he is basically Jack Sparrow if you replace the Black Pearl with a giant dinosaur and Johnny Depp with Simon Pegg. Now Pegg's movie choices and performances have been less then stellar of late, but he nailed this one. He saved the movie from its overly sentimental self to a certain extent, inserting some much needed vitality and insanity.

8) Sammy Davis Jr, Gamer

Gamer was a a high-concept action movie that should have been much more interesting then it was. Which was bizarrely fucking boring. Michael C Hall was certainly the best thing about the movie, but the only moment of real creative flair, or at least awesome acknowledgment of the camp, was when Hall, accompanied by a few mind-controlled death-row inmates, Does a dance number to Sammy Davis Jr's ' I've Got You Under My Skin'. Its random and ridiculous, but somehow when it was over you find yourself upset that the whole movie couldn't be this way.

7) Pain, Twilight: New Moon

Make no mistake, no-one hates the worldwide succumbing to sickly irony in the adoration of this franchise more then me, and boy was New Moon shit. But as the only movie in history, in the past or future tense I'm sure, that gets stolen by Dakota Fanning, it's something of an artifact. Fanning, in her one and solitary scene, causes RPattz to fall to the ground in torturous pain by just uttering the word pain. Fanning's awesomely deadpan delivery is legendary and in a movie as otherwise as terrible as Twilight New Moon, it felt like Milton by comparison.

6) Scream Queen Actressing, Triangle

Triangle is one of those horror movies that hides under shallow layer of false complexity to compensate for how shit it is. And while the infinite loop doctrine of this movie has been handled better elsewhere, lead actress Melissa George managed to make it OK. Now I can't say I was a particularly huge George fan in advance of this movie, why would I be, but for my money she delivered a strong, considered performance in a ridiculous, overwrought movie. And that seems a lot harder then being good in a film that's already good don't it.

5) Olyphant And Zahn, A Perfect Getaway


Timothy Olyphant has never really made the successful transition from TV to Movies. He's got Deadwood credibility to last a lifetime, but his movie CV leaves a lot to be desired. Steve Zahn is a good actor who makes a lot of bad films, with a good performance every three years or so to keep you hopeful. A Perfect Getaway, which is exactly the kind of middle of the road movie that haunts both of their careers. But amidst terrible David Twohy dialogue and generally unimpressive goings on they manage to occasionally rise above the material, forming a rapport with each other that's fun to watch. And this tale of movie badness even has a happy ending. Olyphant now has his own FX show 'Justified', which looks fucking awesome by the way, and Zahn has booked the lead in 'Treme' the new' HBO show by The Wire creator David Simon. So there.

4) Talent Against Indie Cliche, Sunshine Cleaning


Now I'll admit I gave this movie a pass in my review, but I think I was having a bad hair/beard day or something because, like the similarly insipid Gigantic, Sunshine Cleaning was cliched, indie movie hell. Every beat feeling worn out long ago. Never the less, I think both Amy Adams and Emily Blunt, Blunt in particular I think managed to some good work in face of a movie that seemed to be put together by indie checklist.

3) Seth Cohen Will Kill Your Family, Jennifer's Body

I didn't hate Jennifer's Body quite as much as the rest of the world. There was a lot wrong with it, mostly in the Megan Fox area of the game, but there is one thing in the film that I found to be flat out awesome. And not even in the best of a bad bunch kind of way. Adam Brody's Nikolai Wolf essentially plays Brandon Flowers if he was a Psychopathic killer. Its due to Brody that the film's most hilarious scene features the brutal, uncompromising murder of the film's title character. This performance has me hoping Brody find some kind of career salvation and soon.

2) Dillahunt, Last House On The Left

Of all the horror remakes of recent years, I think Last House On The Left was my favorite. Its hardly a competitive category, granted. But thanks to some interesting casting and the movie sticking to its violent guns, I kind of liked it. Having said that, I am not delusional and recognize that something is rotten in Denver. But Garrett Dillahunt, the character actor who has popped up in small roles in No Country For Old Men, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (Breath) and The Road, takes full advantage of a rare leading role. Rather then going the full on wide eyed screaming killer, Dillahunt creates a character and makes his performance all the more frightening for it. This guy is well under-rated.

1) JGL, GI Joe: Rise Of The Cobra

Joseph Gordon Levitt, whose kind of had a breakout year in 2009, what with the huge success of 500 days of summer and Golden Globe nomination etc, was also quietly in one of the worst movies of the year. In a fairly prominent role. And it didn't hurt him one bit. Why? I'm gonna go for that with a voice Synthesizer and excessive make-up, no-one knew who the fuck he was. Or maybe Levitt retained his indie credibility because he approached the thing almost like a piece of performance art, to quote James Franco ( currently on the US soap General Hospital for the same reason) with several bizarre mannerisms and ticks, this truly weird performance eventually became something kind of awesome. So fair play JGL, enjoy being in Christopher Nolan's Inception.

The New Year's Resolution Ten: Finally Seeing To My Most Blatant Movie Omissions

When you first get into film its like being a Kid in a sweet shop, to use a tired metaphor. There's so much to discover, so many great things to see and so little time. You go from classic to classic and movies the idea becomes an increasingly flawless proposition. But then almost without realizing, you kind of run out. Not out of films per say, but all the ones you were burning to see, the out and out masterpieces, you see and that's that. Its depressingly empowering. On one hand you're geekery can now be defined as intimidating, and I don't know any serious film fan who wouldn't take that thought as a severe compliment, but on the other you've burned through the archive, you've sampled all the best sweets and all that's left are the weird french ones or ones yet to be made. But in a harsh twist of tone in this post, I've decided I've not quite earned that coveted status of intimidating geekery that makes one's life complete, and made a frighteningly recognizable list of great film's I've yet to see.

My challenge, should I choose to accept it, is to see all of these bitches before the year is out, thus reducing my embarrassing omissions to virtually nothing, or the ones I couldn't think of at this point in time, and report back to the blogging faithful. Let the credit-reducing confessions commence. And for the record I have seen Black Narcissus, I just think that Evil nun Ruth doesn't get the airtime she deserves.


10) Sunset Boulevard

I truly don't understand this one. I love every Billy Wilder film I've ever seen, from Double Indemnity to Sabrina and Some Like It Hot, which is up there amongst my favorite films ever. I love his style, I love the impeccably written scripts, so what the fuck is my problem here? Am I too lazy? I don't think so, I travel forty minutes every time I go to the cinema and I don't have a car. Am I worried its going to be shit? not in the slightest. I'm sad to say this is just a case of unexplainable decade-long oversight. For which there is no excuse. I'm all over this mother.


9) The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre

Everything I hear about this film just makes it look that much more awesome. It's a grizzled, cynical adventure story. Full with loftier metaphors for greed and supposedly a near career best performance by Humphrey Bogart, who just might be my favorite actor of Hollywood's golden age. I love Huston's African Queen, and The Big Sleep (and Bogart's performance in it) is up there for the coolest film in existence. Add in a third factor that this is supposedly THE major influence for Modern masterpiece There Will Be Blood, I can't believe I've not seen this already. I appall myself.


8) The Sweet Smell Of Success

Another Scathing diss aimed at the heart of Hollywood, This movie is perhaps not the most notorious on the list, but for me having not seen it is humiliation to the core of my soul. I love satires so much, particularly dark, cynical ones, and so having not seen this is equivalent to fans of action movies having not seen Point Break. Only I'm certain this will be so much better then Point Break, and given that every Burt Lancaster performance I have seen I've been pretty much blown away by, its quite poor show to not have seen his tour de force.


7) Rashomon

I'll go on record and say The Seven Samurai didn't do it for me. I'm sorry. A couple of awesome fight scenes aside it didn't sell me. Maybe because I saw the infinitely more exciting The Magnificent Seven tell the same story first I don't know, but shit didn't work for me. I loved Ran, however, so am not done wit Kurosawa yet. And this, widely considered to be his best, is the daddy of multiple perspective movies and for that deserves my long overdue attention. I'm not sure if I'll like it mind, but its worthy enough to hunt down.


6) The Exorcist

This is the film on the list I have the lowest expectation for - I have a quiet hunch its going to be balls - but given its legendary status, social impact and how much Mark Kermode loves it, any self-respecting movie fan needs to have seen this film, and as I crave to be a self-respecting movie fan more then anything else in this universe and subsequent dimensional multi-verses. Bring the 360 head-twisting.


5) The Deer Hunter

I have seen a portion of this movie, I think I either fell asleep or had to turn it off to watch the football, neither of which is an excuse, but its such a bona fide classic having not seen it is a punchline. Plus its a pretty senior entry into the unquestionably awesome sub-genre of the Vietnam war movie which I love close to every entry, though it is long dead. Digressing, what the fuck is up with that? They still make world war 2 movies don't they? Anyway, yeah Deer Hunter. Emotionally ravaging classic containing a cast of legends. My bad.


4) Eight and a Half

My excuse at 13 was it has subtitles. My excuse at 15 was it has subtitles. My excuse these days is that I don't particularly care for 60's Italian Cinema, I've seen Le Dolca Vita and it didn't blow my mind. I think maybe because I'm too stereotypically English and thus terrified of any expression of fictional sexuality, and these films have sex in the air to the point of ridiculousness. Either way, I shall face my inhibition head on be seeing this film, which has kind of emerged as the masterpiece of this particular cinematic movement. Shall I agree? Who the fuck knows. Although I wouldn't bank on it.


3) The Grapes Of Wrath

One of two John Ford oversights, of which this is the least embarrassing. Which bodes well for what else is on this list. I studied Steinbeck's Of Mice And Men in school, in great, excruciating detail. And I while I like it, and the movie of it, I considered myself Steinbecked out for at least a decade. But that might not be a serviceable excuse to not see what might be one of the greatest films of early Hollywood. Not admissible in movie-fan court, really.


2) Bride Of Frankenstein

30's horrors are something I have seen little of, but they seem to get ecstatic, caffeinated reviews from anyone who's seen them. So what might be the Sean Paul of them all, The Bride Of Frankenstein, is something I need to see. I'm an unabashed horror fan. I dig the shit our of modern horror, but the classics are something I think I need a slight schooling in, beginning with this James Whale directed monolith.


1) The Searchers

Here it is. Yes I haven't seen this. Please put your jaws back in the full upright and locked position. Having not seen this, to continue my comparative metaphor theme, is equivalent to a fan of music having never listened to Sam Cooke or Bob Dylan. Its more unforgivable then shooting a family member in the face for 75 p (or cents, if you are an American) or thinking that Star Wars Episode One is an undiscovered masterpiece, and that Jar Jar Binks is the comic creation of 1999. There's nothing to say for it. I've carried the guilt of this movie with me for too long. No more.

Best of the 00's: The Twenty-Five Greatest Films Of The Decade

So we finally get to the one that really matters. To adjust to the occasion accordingly, this bitch is a bit longer then previous entries, but given the gravity of list-making at work here I'm sure you'll forgive me this indulgence. So, the TWENTY-FIVE best films of the decade, so says yours truly.


25) The Royal Tenenbaums

This is perhaps the highest point quirk based film-making ever got, before every 'indie' film in the consequent nine years absorbed the idea and it became almost as formulaic as studio fare. But this is not to take away from what in all likeliness will remain Wes Anderson's finest hour. A fantastic combination of colorful, stylistic extravagance and restrained emo-ing. What sets it apart from Anderson's other films is the presence of Gene Hackman, who lends some welcome animation and warmth to Anderson's often suffocatingly deadpan universe. But the two combined works a treat.


24) Donnie Darko

Richard Kelly is looking increasingly like a one hit wonder, so to speak, but if this is the only great film Kelly ever makes, then its a hell of a film to be remembered for. I think Donnie Darko is a great film almost in spite of the sci-fi, which works precisely because it is shrouded in mystery. What makes this debut great is the small-town satire and character work, containing very strong performances across the board (Particularly from Battlestar Galactica's Mary McDonnell), which is then accentuated by the occasional flashes of supernatural crazy. There's a strong sense of humanity and wit to the film, and that for me is what makes it great. Remove that aspect of it and you basically have Southland Tales or The Box, all crazy ideas with no reason to give a shit.


23) Let The Right One In

Vampires are polluting everything but the air we breathe these days, from tween mega-franchise Twilight to The Campy but occasionally awesome HBO show True Blood. The ironic thing is those two products tell the same core story as Let The Right One In. In which a tortured vampire falls in love with a human. It goes to show how much of the magic is in the execution then, because Let The Right One In soars to levels those labels could only dream of. Given the similarity of story, it can only be this film's nuance that sets it apart. And it does, it tells its particular love story with a sweetness and a sadness ( and a standard of acting) that make all else seem immature by comparison. An immensely powerful, intimate genre film.


22) American Psycho

American Psycho may not be a masterpiece, it may not be particularly subtle or flawless in its telling. But what it is, to use academic phrasing, is plain fucking awesome. Its gleeful wickedness and strong sense of black comedy and parody of 80's yuppie culture, make it perhaps our decade's slasher film for the intellectual. What really rises it above the level of curio is Christian Bale's career-making, unleashed performance which is basically entertainment nirvana. Its popularity is ever-growing and in twenty years it will have lost none of its draw, and that certainly can't be said for every other film on this list.


21) Amores Perros

Sure, people will go for 21 Grams or Babel because there's no subtitles, which is a good point, but in spite of that I think Innaritu's best film remains his first, which has a more visceral power then those that followed. That's not to say the weren't good, or even great, but given the similarity of structure between all three, I think the first dose of something new remains the strongest, because from then on you repeat yourself, which lessens impact, even if Sean Penn is involved.


20) Sideways

Perhaps the best movie for the middle-aged that ever was. But as a viewer of an age well below that target demographic I still enjoy the fuck out of this movie. Its a clever, funny and often painfully insightful. The kind of underplayed comedy that there really should be more of. Still even if there were, there would be few as good as this, which represents the maturing of the very talented Alexander Payne, and sees at least three epic performances from Virginia Madsen, Thomas Haden Church and in particular Paul Giamatti.


19) Taxi To The Dark Side

Because it allows the facts to appall you in their own right, rather then with the helping hand of overwroughtedness a la Michael Moore of late ( although Bowling For Columbine missed this list by a whisker) its so much more horrifying. Detailing the atrocities and use of torture by the US Government against foreign combatants, in terrifying detail, there's never been a documentary to so effectively show us the appalling consequence of what we long ago justified. Its hard to see ourselves as the white hats after this.


18) Ratatouille

I think this film was the best combination of what Pixar does best, which is amalgamation of moving you, entertaining you and wowing you. Ratatouille is more fun then what came after it but more mature then what came before it, and for me represents Pixar at their pinnacle. I'd like to also give a shout-out to the under-rated talents of Brad Bird, who has given us the Iron Giant, The Incredibles and this, a trio of movies better then many more highly respected film-makers can match.


17) Requiem For A Dream

Pi was promising, but Requiem For a Dream really did announce the arrival of a great film-maker. The film's innovate visuals and immense standard of acting, with Ellen Burstyn being the standout, but Jennifer Connelly and Marlon Wayans ( Yes Marlon Wayans of Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, White Chicks, Dungeons And Dragons, Little Man, Norbit AND GI Joe: Rise Of The Cobra) have never been better. The kind of film that is so good it makes other films look lazy by comparison.


16) Pan's Labyrinth

Well who would have thought that the director of Mimic had this in him. Del Toro, prior to this was quite close to the arena of Hollywood hired hand (albeit a good one), with Blade 2 and Hellboy already on his resume. But then comes this, a magnificently told, impressive in nearly every way, full-out masterpiece of modern cinema. It creates a magnificent sense of wonder in its fantasy sequences, all the while making its reality set scenes almost more intriguing, thanks in large to the fantastic characterization Of Sergi Lopez' Captain Vidal. A film to inspire a cinema lover if there ever was one.


15) Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers


The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy's greatness is something that is easy to under-estimate, because at this point we've seen it enough times, and its imitators enough times, to take it for granted. But Jackson created a visually wondrous, truly epic experience that both sublimely entertains and impresses. They are masterpieces of populist movie-making really. The Two Towers is the strongest, because while the first is an almost joyous quest movie with an impressively somber ending, the third notoriously ended too many times, leaving the second with its constant presence of hopelessness and dark psychological ferocity, not to mention the awesome Helm's Deep battle, which shall remain for a long time one of the more impressive things you have seen on a cinema screen.


14) United 93

I've seen the Bourne Ultimatum make a few lists of this nature, which to me just seems a little silly when you remember that Paul Greengrass also made this film, which is beginning to look like an increasingly forgotten classic, despite its reviews being almost unanimously glowing. Its a film that's not so much political, but simply current, which is in itself daring. (it really shouldn't be, but such is Hollywood's attitude to anything approaching politics in cinema) This is more a tale of the courage of the passengers of United 93 more than anything else, not glamorizing it, but simply showing it as it probably was. Immense kudos for not demonizing the terrorists either, who are even sympathetic despite their apparent monstrosity. An intelligent, bleakly honest and an ultimately very powerful film.


13) Amelie

Call it the feel good film of the decade. Reviewers seem to have a lot of time for intensity and tragedy, but when a film communicates happiness and optimism as well as this, it should be equally rewarded. And this is cinema as if it were the most delicious dessert you've ever tasted but also if that meal contained moments of unexpected and impressive complexity, which Amelie does in places (It so does. Check out the bit with the middle-aged man.) But I guess its main calling card, is the ridiculously amazing sense of style that Jean Pierre Jeunet brings to the film. The man who for once and for all decked the Alien Franchise in the balls dusted himself off and made one of the best films of the decade. In your face, I guess.


12) There Will Be Blood

Daniel Day Lewis consumed this film. He so wowed critics and viewers with his truly awesome performance that he almost rose above the film and it was belittled in his presence. Which I'm not sure is quite fair. Lewis may be astounding, but Anderson is equally as on fire, both as a director and writer. The film looks truly spellbinding, and there's a genuine, existential horror amongst the opportunism and the oil wells. In selfishness there is loneliness, and this is something that few other films have told quite so beautifully.


11) The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford


Despite it being a western in name, Andrew Dominik's triumphant return to the helm after a seven year resting spell after the equally awesome - and also only just not on this list - Chopper, has the darkness and violence more commonly associated noir genre. This is then a Western-noir, and the best of its kind that ever was. Dominik commands every frame with meticulousness, in a way that reminds me of David Fincher at his best. There's also Casey Affleck's amazing performance as the titular Robert Ford, and given how good he is here, he should have had some seriously bigger roles then he has received.


10) Spirited Away

Nine out of times I have no time for anime. Its too often excessive without merit and reminds me too much of Pokemon. The exception to this is certainly the work of Hayao Miyazaki, who rather then adopt the ' look at this random stream of cool shit' attitude of most anime's, invests his films with heart and innocent, child-like sense of wonder and also a real talent for story-telling, which in turn allows the random stream cool shit to become a purposeful stream of cool shit. And thus he is on to something special. Spirited Away will perhaps remain his masterpiece, but he's someone whose films I'll never lose interest in seeing.


9) Hidden

Michael Haneke, who might be the most relentlessly bleak and cynical film-maker of the decade, is also a fucking good one. One would have to be into some serious deprecatory mentalities to call his films an enjoyable experience, but what they are great movies. So rich in texture and design that they are the kind of films that could be studied and explored at great length and still leave you feeling intellectually inadequate. Hidden shows that Haneke isn't above scaring the living shit out of his audience either, which is perhaps what makes it his best work. An existential horror movie of the finest kind.


8) The Dark Knight

I think I already used my populist masterpiece bit when discussing Lord Of The Rings earlier, but for what they were in visual awe-inducement, the Dark Knight is in near everything else. Its quite something to make one of the best films of the decade about a dude dressed as a bat fighting another dude dressed as a clown, but Nolan went ahead and did it. Creating an intelligent, challenging, purposeful and magnificently thought out movie that for all the slew of adjectives I could throw at it, so wonderfully speaks for itself. And Heath Ledger is pretty good too.


7) No Country For Old Men

The Coens, with Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers, were having a shaky decade. People were throwing around terms like 'washed up' with abandon. But being the contrary guys that they are, they gave their detractors the finger and made the best movie they've made possibly ever ( I can't say its better then The Big Lebowski, I just can't.) All it took was an injection of seriousness, a couple of great, under-utilized actors and they redefined what the well trodden thriller genre could do.


6) Mulholland Drive

Yeah. Having seen this film a more then respectable amount of time, I still don't feel comfortable talking about it in depth because I fear there's something I might be missing. But then you realize that what the film's about, as infuriatingly intriguing as it is, doesn't matter all that much. Its a masterpiece of atmosphere, of suspense. And no film in my memory has used unanswerable mystery in a way that the audience loves quite so much. Visual story-telling at its absolute best. Plus there's a fair amount of lesbian sex for those who can't be bothered with all that.


5) Zodiac

This may be a matter of personal preference, but I love this movie, almost more then in any other aspect, for just being this movie. Having enough faith in its audience to be a thoughtful, truly accurate investigative movie. The sheer, agonizing frustration of it. You don't just click your fingers for your revelation. Its back-breaking, unrewarding and horrifying in that sometimes it means nothing at all. The only deserving successor to All The President's Men that the elapsing time between them has produced.


4) The Lives Of Others


The most perfectly written, intelligently affecting character study of the decade. And well there's plenty of prescient thought about communist occupied East Berlin, and the very nature of eaves dropping itself, its characters struggles and beliefs are so magnificently realized I'd have no problem calling it the dramatically richest film of the decade. If that were the only factor, this film would be unquestionably number one. As it is, I wish it could be number one as I have done for the previous six or seven films above it, given that there is so little wrong with ny of them. C'est la vie.


3) Oldboy
I once saw this described as the kind of film that 'reminds you why you fell in love with cinema in the first place.' Nothing I could say would as effectively describe it better then that, because that's exactly what it does. The film is so good that it validates you sitting through endless amount of films that disappoint and otherwise enrage you. This is why you do it. This is how good it can be. Oldboy is a uncompromising neo-noir classic in every sense of the word.


2) Memento

The movie that spawned a thousand gimmick's. But fuck those movies because when a 'gimmick' works as well as this, it brings with it a wondrous originality. You had truly never seen a film like Memento, and despite its rip-offs it remains a testament of genius via cinematic ingenuity. You knew once you had seen this film that Christopher Nolan was meant for great things, and none of us were wrong. Dude has two films in my top ten, for fuck's sake, and many more in other people's. Memento is so fucking good it may remain his best, and I'm fully confident Nolan will make several great films yet.


1) City Of God

Like I said, separating the movies in this list has been like choosing which one of my teeth is going to be pulled out with those pliers from the Hostel posters. Its that hard. They're all so good and who am I to say which one is narrowly better. But if I were do that in spite of myself, I'd have to say that as a cinematic achievement, I think City Of God is the most glorious of all the many great films this decade has produced, its all so wonderfully layered and designed. Director Meirelles, who has since made two 7/10 films, brought the noise here so to speak. A near perfect film, or as near to perfectas it is possible for a film to be.