Friday, 26 June 2009

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Fuck this movie, Fuck it to hell. Fuck the billion dollars it will make worldwide, Fuck the moronic teenage boys who will see it and blaspheme it as better then the Dark Knight. Fuck Michael Bay and his Epilepsy inducing beyond talentless sub Tony Scott approach to film-making. Fuck Shia Lebouef or labeouf or whatever and his entitled fast-talking douche/nerd composite style of acting that makes me want to take a power drill to my ear to ensure that fellow cinema goers get their money's worth. Fuck Megan Fox for taking a role that may well have had more slow-motion bouncing cleavage shots then lines, and while the misogynist in me appreciated this, the reviewer is oath-bound to condemn it. Speaking of misogyny, Fuck a movie that features hundreds upon hundreds of soldiers that are all male and, on a more intellectual level women are presented as either ditzy idiots (Shia's mom), slutty predators (college girl transformer) or complicent girlfriends (good old Megan seems to have had her power-slut vibe from the first movie somewhat neutered.) Oh Right, back to my gimmick. Fuck the insanely offensive ghetto transformer twins speaking in MC Hammer inspired jive so clearly written by a middle class white dude. Fuck John Turturro, for so brazenly taking the paycheck, hamming it up and running. It is now OK to Fuck with the Jesus. Fuck the no mark comic relief best friend who seemed to serve no purpose at all. Fuck the awful plot, if it can be called that, that seems to have been put together on microsoft notebook such is its disregard for making sense. Fuck the time it is taken to insult this movie. Still, it was better then high school Musical 3, so there's that

Rating 4/10

1 comment:

veebee63 said...

How very trainspotting of you!!!