When you go into a film entitled GI Joe: The rise of cobra, your hopes are limited. Your not really expecting Tarkovsky, hell your not really expecting anything at all. But I think its safe to say that this is close to the best this movie could be. Its still pretty crap, but its watchable crap. Which coincidentally is what could be written on Stephen Sommers' business card. Yes, the director of the Mummy is back. That is one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies to this day, its a ride of a movie, gross entertaining and scary in equal measure. Fun is the operative word. The he made Van Helsing and detonated all the good will he earned. Because that movie was so crap. But here we are now, at the Sommers rejuvenation. The second movie of the summer based on an 80's toy franchise no less, and while I went postal on the other one, I'm not going to do that to GI Joe because what's the point. You know everything I could say without me having to say it. Yes its cheesy. Yes not all the acting is up to snuff. Yes the plot is as ridiculous as it is possible to be, complete with high-tech battle stations under the arctic and nanobots that eat through metal. But I had a small amount of fun. Sommers is relatively skilled visually, but not much of Stuart Beattie's (Collateral) and co screenplay is worth much and given the ensemble nature of this movie with five heroes and five villains apiece, no character gets a real look in in the way they should. The best performance of the thing is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Doctor, who entirely disappears into the role of the villainous and hideously scarred mad scientist (Yes its that kind of movie) and almost dares to create a character. Sienna Miller is pretty much awful as the evil baroness, Christopher Ecclestone is forgotten as the main villain of the piece, essentially displaced by Levitt as the film progresses. Channing Tatum is kind of like the new Sylvestor Stallone, the same tough guy build and almost the same style of speaking. He's ok. Marlon Wayans overacts and annoys as 'ripcord'. Dennis Quaid, Said Taghmahoui and Adewale Akkinuoye-Agbaje turn up for paycheck's. And Brendan Fraser cameos so very briefly.
Its big, loud and dumb, but if your under fifteen you'll dig it.
Rating: 4/10
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