Saturday, 4 September 2010

REVIEW: The Switch

Frickin Aniston, make some good movies. I can only enjoy hating you for so long.

" Look at them. always rushing, always late. I guess that's why they call it the human race." BOOM. Boom. 1 zip to Allan Loeb, because that shit just hit the stands. When you open your movie with a line like that, you draw a line in the sand in terms of what your movie is going to be. And this isn't taken out of context, paraphrased, misquoted or otherwise exaggerated for comic effect, this is this movie's fortune cookie piece of zen handed out in both opening and closing voice-over. Repeated it is, in case its profundity was lost on you the first time around. Now believe me I could write this review entirely about this one line, and how it is an affront to both punning, half-arsed faux-insightful voice-overs and pretty much humanity itself. But I won't. Because this movie is not worth the effort.

As everyone seems to be noticing, its not exactly been the best year for romantic comedies. Too many high-concept, soulless and terribly written movies for five years yet alone one, and the subject needs a salvation, an indication that its dying is something we should care about, which I think it is, before it goes the way of the traditional action movie and just flat-lines. Nobody that springs to mind has made more of these turgid offerings then Jennifer Aniston, and with each lazy movie after the other looks more and more world-weary and disinterested , sucking the life out of the screen and any talented co-star that passes by her way. Aaron Eckhart was just off a Dark Knight high before Love Happens, Gerard Butler is usually an energetic presence, and Jason Bateman, well he was Michael Bluth for fuck's sake. You wouldn't know it from these performances where one after the other they bounce off an unresponsive Aniston and end up having to attempt to carry the movie themselves, painfully in vain. I think of the three Bateman goes down the most valiantly, bringing the odd moment of his welcome wryness to the over-simplified, unfunny and dull reality of this movie, but its not enough by long shot. Its all just so clueless and inept, not quite reaching the level of badness of the niche holiday romantic comedy that shall not be named, but pretty fucking bad.

I'm not sure quite how many chances Aniston is going to get before people realize something is not working, and her career is being maintained by her celebrity and not her movies or more specifically her performances. She seems embittered about her success, yet unwilling to do anything different. Not wanting to be thought of as just Rachel Green, yet unwilling to play a different character (maybe she can't). You can throw the Good Girl at me if you want, but even if you did it would stand as the lone exception in a 10 year plus movie career of numbing mediocrity. And its not even that good. I can't think of anyone who's got such a strong standing status in movies whose work is so undeserving. It angers me to see such complacency, when there's so many great actresses who could be up there instead. This movie would suck whoever was in it mind, but still. Point stands.

Rating: 3/10

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