Tuesday, 28 December 2010

REVIEW: Burlesque

Aguilera porn

When one goes to see a movie about strippers, glorified very classy strippers, but if you define stripping as taking your clothes off for a living then that's what Burlesque dancers are, one does not expect it to be so gay. I don't mean that as insult, and the camp aspect made this more tolerable then films of its kind that can't really move beyond the 'look at the boobies' school of film-making. Its just I feel sorry for all the pervs that churned out 9.75 to watch a film about strippers and got jack shit for their money. I mean they brought their raincoats and everything. Nothing quite like a public masturbation joke to round out 2010 is what I say.

So, Burlesque. First of all it should be said that Ms Aguilera has a very impressive voice, that is clearly established. No-one is doubting that. I kept thinking they were cheating it in some way but I read around thats not the case so, fair do's. The sequences involving her singing in any capacity are really the only thing it has going for it, because elsewhere its a painfully cliched hollywood rags to riches tale, that so nauseatingly simplifies everything it may as well be written by a 13 year old girl dreaming about how easy her path to stardom will be. But its escapism I suppose and even if its escapism not directly aimed at me, I guess I have to let some of that go. Its adequately made and they do their best to make Oscar winning actress Cher look like a real human being and not one of those masks people pull of their face in Mission Impossible. Stanley Tucci steals it by default, by being the only one who seems to know how to do his job, and even if his character is a massive stereotype, he's awesome enough to make you not care.

It's a glossy, empty bizzarely dated testament to hearing showbiz women roar, and quite frankly apologetic feminism only takes you so far. There's nothing for me here, and its not funny or legitimate enough to make me think it worth the effort, which its sadly not. Say if you're favorite film of all time is Love Actually and you thought Nine was mightily under-rated, or are just a sucker for celebrities with more fame then talent then this will be for you. Otherwise, just watch Chicago again and save yourself some money in these hatd times.

Rating: 4/10

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