Next Week's Movies

Marmaduke: I dare to dream not a chance in hell, but it depends how masochistic I feel on the day I guess. Expectancy Level: 3/10

Salt: Looks kind of bland doesn't it. Its got some good reviews popping up here and there, but believe me my expectations are tempered. Expectancy Level: 5/10

Piranha 3D: Erm, fuck yeah. This previews itself doesn't it? Plus the fact that Eli Roth is credited as 'wet t-shirt contest emcee' probably means he's going to die in a ridiculously violent way. I can think of no-one more deserving. Expectancy Level: 5/10

Human Centipede (The first sequence): For fuck's sake. I really don't want to see this. Really. Less then anything I can think of in a long while. But it will be between this and Marmaduke, and I sense I might be in trouble. Expectancy Level: 2/10

Mother: The fact that it comes from the director of The Host is enough for me. Some good reviews bouncing around too. Expectancy Level: 7/10