REVIEW: Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief

Look, Medusa has an I-phone! This picture is so much better then anything in the movie. Even the scene where this took place wasn't all that good. But just the look on Uma Thurman's face. Even I, mythical demon from the underworld, am truly taken aback by the wonder that is the I-phone. It's majesty is untold even to the Gods.

So yeah Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. Well first off there's the whole Harry Potter thing, and how this is a pretty close cash-in. We've got the team of two boys one girl, and believe me they are in the same archetypal arena. There's the whole title similarity with Harry Potter and... almost being a trademark of it. There's the casting of famous Brits as the adults of the piece, even though none have more then two minutes a piece and yes, there's the fact that Chris Columbus, he who gave us two Harry Potter movies, directs the thing. With Marshall Erikson's permission; lawyered.

Having said that, despite it being kind of shit and certain aspects of the film being downright risible, its fun in an assuming way and its a good kids film. A rip-off and a cash-in, but a serviceable one. The film's story, which is going to sound rightly ridiculous when described in print, sees Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman, who kind of fluctuates between irritatingly smug and tolerable), teenager slash demigod who discovers, as kids always seem to these days, he has a bunch of Godly powers, mostly involving water. Awesome. But no, a plot mechanic insists that there be trouble so when he is accused of being a lightning thief, he goes off with black best friend for hire and hot chick to save the day. The film rushes the revelation stage pretty badly, but once we get to the clear quest stage, things pick up a little as a heroes ace Greek mythology's greatest villainous hits one by one, and from there it goes the way it must go. Uma Thurman's Medusa was a pretty neat two-minute cameo, and she clearly relished the OTT of it all. But the best of the villainous casting was undoubtedly Steve Coogan as Hades. He had about 6 lines or so, but I enjoyed him quite a bit. Rosario Dawson looked absolutely stunning as Persephone, but my compliments for her can't honestly extend out of the male gaze, as much as I'd like them too. Who else we got, oh yeah Sean Bean made for a pretty boring Zeus, matched by Kevin McKidd's Poseidon.

Greek mythology is up there with the best of them, so if you are going to mine something, you could do worse and even if this is just another useless kid discovers amazing powers movie, at least its got Uma Thurman so wonderfully entranced by an I-Phone. Which is incidentally available from all good retailers now.

Rating: 5/10