Saturday, 8 May 2010
REVIEW: The Back- Up Plan
How to best verbalize the despair. It's better then Leap Year? Whereas that film left you wanting to massacre everyone in the Western world sequentially with a spoon, The Back-Up Plan left me only wanting to kill anyone directly associated with this particular piece of cinematic scum. Which I find to be life-affirming no? How the world can surprise you.
The film plays as if someone watched Knocked Up, removed anything that might make it conceivably funny, cast a female lead who's celebrity is based on a body part and a male lead who was on Moonlight. Moonlight people. Yeah. Jennifer Lopez, who before her fame really took off made some good movies, U-Turn and Out Of Sight come to mind, but since becoming an inverted commas movie star, she's been pretty ruthless in regards to churning out shite. But hey, I'm all about second chances, but Lopez, based on this at least doesn't really deserve one. Watching her trying to play neurotic is about as convincing as watching Schwarzenegger trying to play pensive. It's just unquantifiable. For a woman, who clearly hasn't experienced a moment of self-doubt in her existence, all the scattiness, all the shrill control-freak romantic comedy mainstays are somehow even more painful, and the performance condescending in its terribleness. Alex O Laughlin serves as the bland man-candy well enough I suppose, but fuck if I'm going to watch his remake of Hawaii 5-0 based on this shit, Jin from Lost or no Jin From Lost.
The studio romantic comedy is circling the drain. Every single one is contemptible and unfunny, and I don't know why this has to be. Sure there are genres I care about more, but for the last five years or so this entire genre is marginalizing itself into extremely degenerative guilty pleasure for women who's favorite movie of the year will be Sex And The City 2 (Compared to The Boys who look forward to taking in the subtleties of Prince Of Persia). And they think this kind of thing is crappy. Women are not stupid, so why does every Hollywood movie aimed at them act as if they were. It truly beguiles me.