Friday, 31 October 2008

HORROR WEEK: 7 non-horror characters that with a great leap of reailty-bending could be in a horror movie.

One of the beautiful/terrible things about horror movies is its limited stock of Archetypical characters that seem to be reincarnated into different form with every film. So, throwing logic, reason and any kind of sense out of the window. Here's some regular characters, not born form horror, who could happily make there home there. SPOILER WARNING

1) The Joker, The Dark Knight
The disfigured face, the iconic costume and being generally terrifying? Yep, the Joker is the ultimate slasher movie villain. Granted his intelligence and ability to speak set him apart from the crowd, but wouldn't it be so amazing.

2) Christopher McCandless, Into the Wild

You know the know it all indie kid, who thinks he's smarter then God and has worked out the meaning of life at 16. Whilst Penn's movie portrays him as a messiah, in reality thinking is divided between Messianic and idiot. Anyways, The character in the movie is so insufferable he would be one of those times you secretly want the bad guy to win.

3) Amelie, Amelie

Look at the way she deals with the rude market stall guy. Resourceful, pain-causing and just a little bit sadistic. Amelie would make a proper final girl. You actually would want her to kill the crazy guy in the mask.

4) Lux Lisbon, The Virgin Suicides

The kind of beautiful, unnattainable paridigm of purity that dies in a shroud of mystery. Sounds like an opening scene of a Horror movie to me. The one that sets the scene but has very little to do with the main character or story.

5) Donnie, The Big Lebowski

You know the anonymous other friend of the protagonist, who barely has a line and is either the second or third person to die. That's Donnie.

6) Sister Ruth, Black Narcissus

Horror movies have been cruel to the average crazy slut-bitch. They always seem to be the surrogate villain while the bad guy's in the background and always get a nasty demise. Black Narcissus' Sister Ruth would have fit this bill perfectly For she is perhaps one of the ultimate crazy slut-bitches.

7) John Keating, Dead Poets Society

The smug teacher who tries to get through to apathetic students and then dies as a nerdy writer inacts literary vengeance on all teachers who gave him a C. We all enjoy these scenes a little bit though. And when watching Dead Poets Society you so want that to happen to this bogus dude.

1 comment:

Antonionioni said...

RIP Horror Week, ha ha....Die, die... Er, oh, well done, good writing!