Wednesday, 6 January 2010

The Five Movies in 2010 Everyone Will Like But Me

There's nothing quite like being left out of the loop as a movie fan. It happened to me with Avatar, where everyone was going batshit, whilst all I was seeing was like one of the PS1 final fantasy's made into a movie. And not one of the good ones. Anyways, the movies I will be entirely out for a spin for in 2010.

5) Clash Of The Titans

Looks horrible, Sorry guys. And given my increasing hatred of the seemingly randomly selected mega-star of choice Sam Worthington. Not Feeling it. But I think there's no chance of this film making anything less then 200 million. The Transformers 2 of this year, no doubt loud, big and painfully ridiculous. But then given my hysterically terrible record with predictions I'm sure it'll be a classic. Inevitable box office: 243 million

4) Alice In Wonderland

Looks like what can be described as a corporate acid trip. All the crazy imagery is there but it somehow feels lifeless and kinda crappy. From the trailer it looks all blockbustered up, and while I'm sure it will bring the kids in. It looks to continue Tim Burton's sucky streak, Sweeney Todd aside. Inevitable Box Office: 220 million

3) The A Team/ Tron Legacy

It seems that Transformers has opened the floodgates for eighties nostalgia, hence we get these assembly line reproduction of the current thirty-something sects childhood. But both films are sure to be complete balls. Jeff Bridges or no Jeff Bridges. But irony it seems conquers all, and look for a lot of people going 'Hey there's an A Team movie. That sounds AWESOME'. Inevitable Box Office: 282 million/210 million

2) Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Aside from the blatantly money-grabbing scheme of splitting this in two, I'm predicted good reviews for this too. You know because of all the dying, and as far as movies go death = credibility. But shit I can't take anymore of these kids acting man, its beginning to depress me. Inevitable Box Office: 370 million

1) Iron Man 2

When I came out of the first Iron Man I'm sure I was missing the joke, because everyone loved it but me. I fully expect this reaction again, reading a million reviews of how amazing the movie is, seeing it, thinking it's a pretty stock blockbuster and then being crushed into irrelevance. The way its destined to go. There is Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit though. There is that. Inevitable Box Office: 412 million

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